I want to shout!

Everybody needs someone or somebody to cry on and listen to your stories that you want them to catch it up with you.. that's great if you have some. Me, everyone knows I'm silent and don't even talk to anyone elses unless they're gonna talked first.. ("I'm a One question, One answer! period"). My sister (Older than me) used to asked me about my friends.. but then I just answered her back, Ok lang.. Every time she asking me about my EX-friend, My mind get so Blowing up and and my blood seems to burned out!... but when I'm alone, I got to think of the past.. I wanted to tell her the truth.. I just regret the moments that I didn't told her about what happen to us... Until now, It's still a hint for my family what has really happen to our friendship although my dad knows a little bit of it but not the rest.... My mom got curious about me, sometimes, I have to hide to them coz I don't want HER to be a gossip involving my family... My problem (although it's not really a big deal for them) should be out of the house.. I keep my problems for myself.. sometimes I hide it and just ignoring them but I can't deny the fact that sometimes I was thinking of it, Sometimes I pictured myself through my phone cam with unidentified smiled or should I say forced smiled.. hahaha! I just laughing at myself as if I'm crazy.. texting somebody on my phonebook pretending I'm very happy... this blog is enough to shout out what's on my mind and what I feel right now.. I'd cried not because of my problems, I've cried for someone but I won't regret that, coz That was me.. I've cried because of my emotions comed out... I have too many things on my mind that I really don't understand whenever I'm alone.. I'm always finding things which can entertain myself though.. movies are enough but whenever I start to watch it, my eyes are staring on the screen but my mind got another world, in short I can't concentrate not because I don't understand the movie I am watching though, but something's bothering me... I keep on hiding it still, I wanted to shout it like I want to go the Island myself and shouting there "HELP!".. but I am afraid of, no one can hear me.. Although I'm happy now, but not totally 100% it seems... why I'm posting this?..trip lang!, coz I don't have someone here to talk with and to listen to my damn stories though, singing and listening to music is enough of me..problem?,.. I'll keep it to myself.. My family and friends finds me like a book but difficult to read, they maybe right but I told them to be a GOOD READER.. this is all I know for this time, sometimes the past doesn't just catch up with,... but it haunts you though... this maybe the reason, why some things have to bothered me all the time.. :) have a nice time reading this!.. :) sorry to bother you.. I know It's nonsense though.. :).. I don't have any idea what to post here right now, but this is all I know.. hehehe! :)